Sew What?

I couldn’t even thread a needle…

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A button came off one of my favorite shirts. I thought I could wear it and nobody would notice, but no, the button missing was right by my boob. I couldn’t wear it for obvious reasons.

So, I thought I would revive the shirt by sewing on a button. How hard could that be? Since we were poorer than dirt growing up, my mother taught me how to sew, at least the essentials like buttons, hems, etc. I hadn’t done it in about 20 years but I remember it wasn’t very difficult, and it didn’t require an instruction manual. Anything’s easier than IKEA.

If you’re past a certain age, trying to thread a needle is next to impossible. Even with my strong readers on, I could barely decipher which end of the needle I was supposed to use. And trying to thread it? Where was a 12-year-old when you needed one?

So I pulled from the bowels of my memory to help me remember how to attach on a button. I am not very detailed to begin with, so I knew I was probably in for a disaster. Alas, I found a button that seemed like it would do the trick and I began to sew it on.

I was making a reasonable amount of progress, until I got ready to trim the thread. All of the sudden, my scissors cut right into the shirt I was repairing! There it was, a neat little slice, just like a surgeon’s incision.

I looked at it from every angle. Surely nobody would notice a small ½ inch cut into some fine linen. But no, it was evidence of my stupidity and inability to follow directions.

But I was not ready to give up. I thought if I applied a little bit of scotch tape to the inside of the fabric, that I could revive the garment. Gingerly, I applied a tiny piece of tape to the inside of the shirt and voila, the surgeon’s error was rectified.

Now my favorite blouse has come back to life, with a new button and a taped gash.

I am fashion forward once again.